So things are about the same right now with me. If things are improving it is going at a very slow rate as to be imperceptible. I am trying harder and harder to be more understanding, but it seems every time I get over one issue another one is right on its tail. I am really trying to keep my stress manageable though. I had a tough time controlling it this last week and have been doing some hard self searching to find ways to relieve it. I had a couple nights of short sleep and a couple days of no appetite that were tough on me. The biggest thing for me is that this area is well developed and the ward is huge, but they still don't have a strong structure in the work and retaining process. In Banga we had a very good structure that I helped set up for new converts and for member's support. I think about 70% of my stress is coming from trying to establish that again. I think it is more than possible to get things well organized here, but my companion doesn't support it and our bishop doesn't really support it either. I have tried to goal with the Bishop and report to him frequently (like I am supposed to) and he really won't give me the time of day. Every time I try to fix something in our schedule or the way things are done, so that it can be more like what is in the handbooks, I get greeted with resistance and a reminder that I don't know how things are done in Manoling. So it is a very big load of poop on my chest.
These past few evenings I have been doing an evaluation of why I feel so stressed. I found out that not so much of it was from my companion as it was from my circumstance. So that really helped with my relationship with him. I have not been so bitter towards him lately. But there is still stress that comes from him. I have resolved to write down more of my experiences with him because they can be pretty funny sometimes.... when you aren't the one going through it. So I will start a story book about his weird quirks. Warning: I suspect this guy to literally be from Neptune. I don't think it is possible for any earthlings to be this different. Like his obsession with wearing pajama pants everywhere. To play basketball or to do service projects. What makes it better is they are like light purple or baby blue with angels or moons on them.
I have determined to just let more things slide. My resolution this new area was to be more obedient to the handbook and Preach My Gospel. That goal came at the exact wrong time in my mission. Like one thing yesterday, we had a baptism this week and while the bishopric was confirming him they never ONCE touched the top of the boy's head. And just many more things like that, that our bishopric should know and to me they just come off as clueless sometimes. So I will just shut my eyes the next time and move on. My companion is something that I am just going to have to move on from. He really needs to go back to the MTC and pay more attention to how to teach a lesson. I try to fix things but just get no response from him. It is just going to be a weird transfer. I am not quite sure how I will fix things, but for now I'm not too worried about it and will just wait it out.
So these are kinda my thoughts on the area. Most of you expressed you all wanted to know what was really going on. I didn't edit this much at all so you've got some raw thinking right here. So let me know what you all think. Right now I am open for suggestions.... please. Im begging you. Someone also asked what language I'm learning... Ilonggo. (ee-long-go) It is not nearly as hard as Aklanon. But they are not very good at Tagalog at all so it is tough still to communicate.
I also had a NIGHTMARE the last week. I had the dreaded dream of getting home. It is the WORST thing ever to a missionary. Everyone was crying and I was giving everyone hugs... it was in our house. Like it was so real. Then I wake up. Im in the middle of nowhere Philippines and the power is still out. it is no fun. As much as I look forward to that day, it is too much of a tease to dream it.
I love you all so much and I pray for you all often. Be safe over there and keep me in your prayers as well. I'll get through this trial and somehow be a better person afterwards. Who can really say until after it is done, eh?
Halong kamo,
Elder Lowry
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